“Mum…Whose idea was it to bath the cats together?”
I shouted, walking out of the bathroom into the kitchen, dripping water everywhere.
“Oh sweetie! What happened to your shirt?!” she asked, glancing at me before continuing making my sandwich.
“Ugh,” I groaned, “Mystery spilled the orange cat shampoo on me I was trying to put it on her.”
“Maybe next time bath them separately, ok?”
She told me, looking at me again. She spotted the trail of puddles leading for the bathroom to me, and more puddling around my feet and sighed.
“Yes, yes,” I answered hurriedly before she could say a thing. “I’ll clean it up.”
Wow good work Jessie! I admire the way you included a lively conversation in your writing. I hope you continue writing like this and even better.
Hannah @St Pauls And All Hallows, London
Please come and check out my work at:
http://st-pauls-and-all-hallows-cofe-junior-school1.j2webby.com/?p=100
This 100WC has a great rhythm to it, full of natural dialogue and incidental details like your mum making the sandwich. I like that.
You have also used some good vocabulary such as ‘glanced’ and ‘hurriedly’.
Well done, Jessie.
Thanks guys, I enjoyed reading your comments. Thanks for the feed back.